Having joined the social networking site Facebook three weeks ago, I have realised that I am uniquely suited to helping people make the most of their Facebook experience. This is why I have created a guide to the site, hopefully you will all profit greatly by my experience.
Commenting
On Facebook, you are able to comment on what people have said on their and other people’s walls. I advise you to take full advantage of this feature. Do not let a single comment or status go by without your say. If people didn’t want your opinion on things, they wouldn’t be friends with you.
Photos
Facebook allows you to share photos with friends and family all over the world. Now you can show Grandma in Australia all the latest pictures of her grandson’s first day at school. You can also post all sorts of embarrassing photos of your friends for all the world to see. Pay no attention to any complaints; after all, if they don’t want people to know what they were up to, they shouldn’t be doing it in the first place!
Being Nasty
Did you see what she was wearing?! He is such an idiot!
Using muscle to bully is so old school. Nowadays, it doesn’t matter if someone is bigger, richer, better looking or smarter than you, all it takes are a few nasty comments on Facebook to have them cowering in their homes. If you have something to say, why don’t you say it to the world? This is one area where we really are all equals!
Stalking
Facebook really allows you to keep track of all your friends and those who you would like to be friends… now you are able to keep track of exactly what that special person in your life is doing, you can see exactly who they are talking to, and what they are feeling. You can even find out where they are going and make sure that you “coincidently” meet up with them….
Farmville et al
I recently heard that more people in the world use Farmville than those who use Twitter. Well, if you can’t beat them, join them! If so many people are doing something, it has to be good. And, I am sure all you friends will really appreciate it if you bombard them with Farmville messages. In fact, I bet most of them will take the opportunity to also join – eventually we will all be one big Farmville family!
Unnecessary Information
I know how much all your friends care about you, and so you wouldn’t want them to worry about any unexplained absences, would you? That is exactly why it is so important to keep them up to date on every move you make, including toilet breaks. I am sure that they will be riveted; from what you eat, to what time you get up in the morning.
Personal Information
So, you have just discovered you have a boil in a rather private place – why don’t you post it as your status? After all, if you can’t share personal information with all your five thousand and ninety seven friends, who can you share it with? Right? Hey! Where is everyone going! Stop, come back, I’m still…
Disclaimer!
This document was found in the possession of a man who, for the sake of his family, shall remain anonymous. He was last seen running out of a hospital shouting “ Friends! Friends! Must have more Friends!”
0 Comments.